sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize