is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
