i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
