so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
