I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
