dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
