Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
