At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
and she was petting her beer can
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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