Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
