yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
We're too hungover to prance.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
