i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
In America we eat man semen.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
