At least make sure they are 18
Why
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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