Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
