Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
