i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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