Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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