The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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