At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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