While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
