i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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