it wasn't lemon gatorade
Fuck appropriateness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
