Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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