Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
