Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
