So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
