Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
