when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
