I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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