Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
