why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
