that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The adults are the big ones right?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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