Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
