Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
