My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
