One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize