she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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