State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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