well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
