The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
