so that wasnt chicken after all
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
