I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize