you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Randomize
