Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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