..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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