Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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