my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
