he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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