Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
