K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
