The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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