On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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