It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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