If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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