I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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