you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
3 2 1 whiskey
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
why is half of my head shaved?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
