So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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